Consulting Is Bullsh*t

Welcome To Real Advice, Real Profits, & No Bullsh*t

How It Works

Here’s your chance to lay it all on the table. No sugar-coating, no tiptoeing. Bitch about your biggest business headaches and brace yourself for a fix.

Not all fixes are created equal. Pick from our killer lineup:

  • The Quickie: It’s like a shot of adrenaline for your sales team. Quick, dirty, and f*cking effective. And hey, it’s free—so really, what the hell do you have to lose?
  • The B*tch Slap: Yeah, it costs a couple hundred bucks, but think of it as investing in a treasure map that leads straight to the vault. It’s for those who aren’t just playing games but are dead serious about making more money.

We’ll hop on a Zoom call, roll up our sleeves, and tackle your bullsh*t head-on. Expect blunt truths and no-BS advice that’s as actionable as it is honest. You talk, we listen, and together we plot your rise to the top.

You decide the next steps. Implement the strategies we’ve laid out, and watch your business grow. Use our hand-holding service because we’re here when you need us and even when you don’t.

Why The F*ck Should I Do This?

You shouldn't. You should stay mediocre, make the same amount of money, attract the same old leads, and keep running in circles. If that's your jam, this definitely isn't for you.

The F*cking Benefits

Instant Not Bullsh*t Results

Immediate changes you can implement before your coffee gets cold. No waiting around for slow-moving improvements. We hit hard and fast, just how you like it.

No Cookie Cutter Bullsh*t

Your business isn’t a f*cking sock. We dig into your specific issues and tailor our smackdown to what will really make you money!

Pay If You’re Pleased

If our advice doesn’t knock your socks off, keep your cash. We don’t take a dime upfront because we’re that damn confident you’ll find value. Only pay if you think we’re the shit—which, let’s be real, we know we are.

Get Started in 3 steps

Show The F*ck Up

It’s easy. You’re just not willing to show up for yourself. Decide you’ve had enough of mediocre results and half-assed efforts. This is your business, not a hobby. Get serious, get angry, and let's get f*cking started.

Pick Your Poison

Choose the slap you need: Want a quick fix? Grab 'The Quickie'. Need a reality check? Go for 'The B*tch Slap'. Not here to cuddle you through it. Only pay if you think the session was worth it—bet you will.

Transform Your Sh*t

Implement the brutally honest, actionable strategies then watch your sales climb and your competitors wonder what the hell happened. Follow-up? It's on you. We're here if you need more; otherwise, make us proud out there.


ask us

It’s fast, it’s furious, and it’s freakin’ effective. You get 45 minutes of intense business coaching to blast through your crap, plus a bullsh*t-free action plan. It’s quick because we know you’re busy. It’s free because we know you’re skeptical

Oh, it is—but only to your crappy business practices. This is 1.5 hours of hardcore, no-holds-barred business beating that will shape up your sales and growth strategies. Not for the faint of heart or the weak of wallet, but hey, you don’t pay upfront, so there’s that.

Because we’re not your sugar-coating, hand-holding type of consultants. We tell it like it is. If you’re tired of consultants who charge high fees for recycled advice, try us. We promise you’ll actually enjoy getting kicked into gear.

  • You heard right. You don’t pay a dime until we prove our worth. You think we’re the shit? Then you pay. If not, well, you probably didn’t listen hard enough.

Think of us as that clingy ex, but less creepy and more helpful. For ‘The Quickie’, we hover and help for three weeks. With ‘The B*tch Slap’, we stick around for two whole months, making sure you don’t slip back into your bad habits.

The kind that actually gets shit done. No fluff, all action. Customized to your needs, stripped of all the bullsh*t you might be used to. This isn’t your grandma’s to-do list.

Depends on how quick you move your ass. We give you the map, but you’ve gotta drive the car. Some folks see results faster than they can take a shot; others might take a hot minute.

If you have to ask, maybe not. But if you’re ready to see your business grow and aren’t afraid of a little (okay, a lot of) tough love, you’re exactly who needs to sign up. Stop being a cookie; start being a boss.

Then you don’t pay. Period. Our ‘Only Pay If You’re Pleased’ policy means you pay us when you see the value, not a moment before. We’re that confident you’ll love what we do.

Pick your poison

**No Payment Upfront Required. Only Pay If You Think It Was Worth It!**

The Quickie

Get Help Selling More of Your Sh*t in 1-Hour.
  • 45-Min Coaching Quickie
  • Bullsh*t Free Action Plan
  • 3-Weeks of Hand Holding
  • It's Free.. If You Qualify

The B*tch Slap

The BEST Way To Sell More & Grow Faster
  • 1.5 Hours of Pure Ass-Kicking
  • Bullsh*t Free Action Plan
  • 2 Months Of Hand Holding
  • No Payment Upfront**